at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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