Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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