How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
