she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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