what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
