Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
