Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
