I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
