I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
