I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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