we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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