this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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