my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
