i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
