You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
