i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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