My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
