It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
