I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
