Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize