hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
