I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
