I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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