$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
When did angry sex become our thing?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
