omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
