she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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