My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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