so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
home. puking in laundry basket.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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