Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
