May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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