low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
