When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
