I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize