rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
