i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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