$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
