There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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