We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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