Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
