? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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