I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
