I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We need to get me chipped asap
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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