awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
