It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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