omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
