That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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