i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
