You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
