If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
