I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
