Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
