My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Randomize
