I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
