you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
