my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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