these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
