i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
