yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
