don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
