Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
