it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
