there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I had to cum in my sink.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
