I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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