Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
