Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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