if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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