guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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