my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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