You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
